Tank Top

Tiny Human Social Secretary Tank Top for Tired Moms - Default Parent Sleeveless Shirt

For days when you're managing your kid's social calendar while somehow keeping yours from falling apart entirely. This dry humor tank top is made for mentally overloaded moms and default parents who became the social director for a tiny human without being asked. Printed on a soft Comfort Colors tank and offered in S–3XL for everyday wear.

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Product: Tank Top
Collection: Dry humor

For parents of more than one child, check out our listing with the phrase, "I’m the social secretary to tiny humans."

Why You'll Like It

This tank top names the job no one put in the job description. You manage the playdates, the RSVPs, the birthday party politics, and the friendship dynamics — for a person who still needs help putting shoes on the right feet. The title is unofficial. The workload is not.

Who It's For

For default parents and mentally overloaded moms running a full social operation for a small person with very strong opinions about their own social life.

Product Details

Comfort Colors 9360 garment-dyed tank with a relaxed, lived-in feel
100% pre-shrunk, ring-spun US cotton
Medium-weight (6.1 oz/yd²) garment-dyed fabric for soft color and texture
Tubular knit (no side seams) for a clean, consistent fit
Self-fabric binding at neckline and armholes
Sewn-in twill label
Available in S–3XL (availability may vary by color)
Offered in: Pepper, Ivory, Light Green

Sizing & Fit

Unisex relaxed fit
Runs true to Comfort Colors sizing
For a relaxed, oversized fit, size up; for a more fitted silhouette, size down
See size chart in photos for detailed garment measurements (includes 1.5"" tolerance)

Design Details

"I'm the social secretary to a tiny human" is arranged in an arched, semicircular layout — the phrase curves along the top of the arch, 'to' sits centered below in a smaller size, and "a tiny human" anchors the base at a larger scale. The lettering is a handwritten serif style with a casual, slightly whimsical character. Small decorative flourish elements flank the lower phrase, and a subtle underline detail appears beneath "a tiny human."
Printed using high-quality DTG (direct-to-garment) for crisp, accurate detail.
Available in: Pepper, Ivory, Light Green (Minor color variations can occur between screen and fabric.)
Small variations are normal in made-to-order printing and part of the process.

Care Instructions

Machine wash cold.
Tumble dry low.
Non-chlorine bleach only if needed.
Iron on low heat if needed, avoiding the design.
Do not dry clean.

Made to Order

Each tank top is printed specifically for your order, so returns, exchanges, cancellations, and changes aren’t available once the order is placed.
Before checkout, please confirm quantity and color choice and confirm that your shipping address is complete and correct.
If your order arrives with a genuine production issue, message me through Etsy with a photo and I’ll take care of it.